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I Seek Therefore I Am.
Submitted by: Shelly H.
MarylandI am a 52 year old African-American lesbian woman.
I am a 52 year old African American lesbian. I probably have suffered from depression and ADD since I was a child. I always felt different, even among my family members, and I never knew why. The white kids called me the”N” word and the black kids called me “Oreo Cookie”, black on the outside and white on the inside.
I became an adult who felt that I was unloved and unlovable, until I found cocaine. Cocaine was my mother, father, lover, confidante, etc. It was wonderful, cocaine was plentiful and I had the money!!! Well, needless to say the money ran out. I lost a number of jobs but somehow, someway, I was always able to secure employment. During one of 15 stints in rehab, one of the movies we saw was ” The Secret”. Most of the clients were either sleeping, talking or daydreaming. I felt the movie was fascinating!! I started taking mental notes, then I started writing notes on a napkin I found on the floor. This was just the medicine I had been looking for.
I now attribute my recovery success to the “The Secret”. I have been clean for about 7 years now. I am always aware of what I say to the “Universe”. I have found a sense of purpose and now I am able to share my story with the masses.
Thank God for “The Secret”