I Literally Snapped Myself Out Of A Depressive Episode!
In 2010, I first discovered The Secret and began applying it to many different facets of my life. Undergraduate studies, friendships, a long term relationship I was in, and little daily things like a good parking spot or maybe a free coffee. It worked, and it worked, and it kept working in wonderful ways. That was, until somewhere along the line I attracted one negative and significant circumstance in my life.
From there it kept working but in all of the wrong ways! Injuries, health issues, financial issues, failed relationships, lost friendships and broken down vehicles I couldn’t afford to fix. The list goes on and for years I just found myself in this constant, negative spiral.
The biggest thing that hampered me throughout most of my life has been major depression. I’ve dealt with it in one form or another since I was a kid. Over the course of the last few years, it really grabbed hold of me as I kept on this downward trajectory. It was to the point where I found myself back in therapy at the end of this last summer. Depressive episodes would last for days, with the emotional anguish being overwhelming at times. It left me being completely exhausted while pushing everything and everyone away. It would leave me with this empty, hopeless, and helpless feeling where even the simplest things were so exhausting and felt so pointless.
Fast forward to recently. I found myself stumbling upon the upcoming release of “The Greatest Secret”. I ordered it as soon as it was available, got it last weekend, and started reading it as soon as I could.
I just had an amazing experience by utilizing the practice of not resisting emotions. To instead choose to welcome them and then just letting them flow through, passing like a cloud in the sky.
I started to slip into another depressive episode yesterday night. I could feel it coming at me. No matter what I did, getting a good night’s sleep, working out, or taking a long walk, I could just feel myself slipping further and further throughout the day. It led to me being kind of cold toward a friend who I actually have so much love for, after she invited me to go on a walk in the morning. That was when I realized what was happening.
I was resisting the emotions and feelings within, meaning I was exacerbating them and making them worse by bottling them up! I was letting my mind literally stare at this storm cloud and tell me repeatedly, “Yep, it’s going to rain really hard the next few days” as if I had zero control.
I pulled over, sent my friend a text to clarify that I didn’t intend to be cold. She understands my situation with depression and has been incredible whenever I’ve had episodes. I chose not to glorify the negativity of my emotions in that text. I was just clear in saying that I was slipping a little bit, I was going to let it run through me, and to check in with me in the morning about meeting up for that walk. And, that I was OK.
In that moment, it all changed. I gained awareness, welcoming in the emotions and feelings instead of resisting them. I let them come to me and through me, letting them go as I visualized them passing, just floating onward like that storm cloud. But this time the cloud was simply passing by and working its way toward the horizon.
After a few more minutes, I had to pull into another parking lot to cry as I got this incredible sense of relief while being in a state of pure awe. It was gone! Literally, the start of a depressive episode that could have meant another few days of this cyclical, almost unbearable feeling of emotional anguish and despair, was just gone! All because I caught my mind distorting the situation, welcomed the emotions instead of resisting them, and let it go as I practiced awareness throughout.
This practice of awareness, welcoming emotion, letting it come and go instead of resisting, all through that simple shift in perception, is just incredible! Something I had struggled to effectively curtail and have worked so hard at managing for years, just like that, it vanished! The sense of peace that came with it was mind-blowing!
This works! It’s amazing! It’ll blow you away when it clicks.
And yes, I’ll be going on that walk tomorrow as I continue to integrate “The Greatest Secret” into every aspect of my life. Just incredible!
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this book and for these teachings!!!