I Asked, Let Go, Believed And Received
We had fallen in love immediately. It was the kind of powerful, passionate love that inspires novels, movies, and music. A sweet, pure, and unmatched feeling that both shook me and grounded me. He was the love I had dreamed of since I was a little girl, and I knew, when we fell in love, that this was, as all the romantics in the world have described of their own great loves, “the one.”
Over the years, our love only deepened. He was there for everything – every illness, every joy, every stomach ache, every success, every heartache, every low tire. Our love remained profound, despite so many obstacles.
The biggest obstacle, however, was me; I found out over time that I was more powerful than I could ever have believed.
Despite his undying love, and despite the fact he was always connected to me – I always knew where he was, I had a key to his home – I was very insecure. I was jealous of everything he did without me – the charity group he founded and ran, his work, his friends, both male and female. Shamefully, I even grew jealous of the time he spent with his children. I wanted him all to myself. It was selfish, and stubborn. Despite the fact that everything else in my life seemed to be growing in abundance, in success, our love life suffered.
He broke it off.
He said he couldn’t tell me anymore if I was the love of his life, if he was feeling the way he was feeling – fearful of my calls, my wrath. He needed me to let go, he said. He said he needed his life back.
I thought I applied The Secret right away. Only a day and a half later, I called him, attempting to be cheerful and strong. His response devastated me. “I’m afraid I’m not getting anywhere,” he said. Instead of feeling sad that we had separated, he felt relief.
Could I blame him? I had been so negative, reminding him every day of everything that made me unhappy. The woman he fell in love with – the woman who supported every endeavor, the woman who loved the man simply for who he was – seemed to have disappeared. I did it. What I feared, what I kept saying out loud, I didn’t want to happen – it happened.
Devastated, and in a state of shock, I knew I hadn’t been applying The Secret properly. I was saying the words, thinking the thoughts, but I wasn’t feeling it. I was still sad. I was still in a state of need. I was still living out what had just transpired. I needed to get into a perpetual state of joy.
I remembered what he once said, although admittedly, in my deepest pain, it faded in and out. But I clung to it with stubbornness. “This isn’t goodbye,” he said. “It’s just time apart.”
If my negativity was powerful enough to drive him away, surely a shift in my FEELING was powerful enough to bring him back.
So I began to visualize his number appearing on my phone. I looked at our photos every day, kissed his face, said thank you, again and again and again. I listened to songs that put me in a place of love. I pictured running into his arms, smiling, laughing, kissing him as he came home to me. I felt as if we hadn’t broken things off, that we were madly in love. I looked at myself in the mirror as if it was his eyes I was looking into, and I loved. I loved. I loved. And every day, it got easier, and every day, I wouldn’t ever let myself feel sad – I made sure I brought myself to that place where I always was when we were together. Joyful. Blessed. Grateful. In love.
We’re happier now than we’ve ever been. Our time apart really was the best thing that could have happened. It made me a better person, always only focusing on the happy things. I remember now to thank him for everything. Once again, he made me a better human being, loving me so much that he let me grow. Everything happened as I dreamed. He and I are more in love than ever, stronger than ever, and we’re home.
For all of you who are hurting and afraid, hold on. Do as I did and continually read the stories of those on this site who have experienced what you know you will too. YOU can bring your love back. Light, warmth and love to you all.