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I Learned To Love Myself More.
Submitted by: N.E
MalaysiaI'm a final year student.
My sister spread the rumor that I wanted to kill my mom when I was truly feeling hopeless and broken. I brought a knife into my room and yes, I was suicidal at that time because I failed my exams and I had to extend for 2 more semesters. She told my other sister that I wanted to kill my mom when in reality I did not even leave my room at all at that time. I knew about what she had said and done when I opened her phone and read their chats about me. On that day I felt more hopeless and broken than I already had ever felt. I cried myself to sleep while holding my pain in after I knocked my head to the wall.
I have not gone home since that day and I feel much better now but it still hurts a lot whenever I miss my mom. I had never felt so much pain before the one that I thought would know me better since I lived with them so many years, spread this kind of rumor about me.
Since that day, I knew that I can’t ask someone to understand me and make me happy, not until I let myself feel happy. I learned how to enjoy my day even though I was all alone. I forced myself to contribute more to society so I would not feel hopeless and disappointed with myself. I lost a family that I thought would understand me but I gained so many wonderful friends that truly love me for who I am! I won’t let myself be hurt by the words of others ever again.
Thank you!