I knew I would be writting here someday….
When my mom suggested ‘The Secret’ and actually sent it to me, I did not watch it for several months. I was sad and depressed, as I had broken up with my then boyfriend, I was no longer enjoying my job, was not happy about my appearance (I was heavier than my usual, and I was not able to use my nice clothes anymore), and I felt generally trapped due to visas and legal immigration issues, which did not allow me to change jobs.
Then one night, when I was in my then usual ‘pity party’, I remembered one of my best friends telling me about ‘The Secret’, and I remembered I had the DVD. I looked for it and watched it…. It was an eye-opener and reminder of this ‘law of attraction’, which I was already aware of since I was a teenager and my mom forced to do the Silva Method against my will. But now that I look back, and was one of the best ‘forced presents’ my mom ever gave me.
After watching the DVD, it was not like many other people have written on this site…. at first, I felt like for the first time in a very long time I could understand why things had gone badly for me in the last year or so. And that was really good. But when it came to visualization… and believing… gee… you have no idea how hard it was for me. I had my best friend, who not long ago had also been in a deep depression, telling me about all the the things she went through and how one day it all started to work out (just believing). Her experiences helped me, but still I was struggling…
She recommended many books, all of which I read, and all helped me in some way or another. So slowly, I was able to visualize once again. But I still found it hard to have this blind faith. I knew in the past I had that amazing ability, but now, I was lost. I tried and tried… and nothing. But I visualise, I did my vision board, and I was so geeky I even did a power point presentation where I had one slide with each of my current dreams, and I even added music that helped me to see myself living those dreams. Some of my friends laughed it up, but since they all know about this thought it was a good way to start. Still, the ‘not believing’ part was the main barrier for manifesting those dreams.
And so I kept coming back to this site to read all the stories… and they all helped me, because when I felt I was losing myself in sadness, then the stories gave me hope.
I knew it was said that in order to build your belief system, you need to start with small things. Well, I did, and yet I could not even manifest small things. I was so gutted. But I did something that I think helped me – I started to write every day the key dreams I wanted to happen in my life, with the, ‘I am happy and grateful now that…’ And suddenly, slowly, things started to happen…
First, I started to lose weight. I kept seeing myself wearing my long forgotten ‘skinny jeans’, and one day after a few weeks of trying, there I was wearing my ‘skinny jeans’. I was thrilled… I kept losing weight and started to eat more healthily once again. Of course this helped to raise my confidence levels.
Second, I needed to renew my working visa, and things weren’t going great for my employer. In fact my department which once had 5 people was now reduced to me. And in general, immigration laws had become so strict that it was supposed to be a difficult one to get it renewed. But I wrote down every single day for a month that my visa will be renewed without much hassle. And it was…
Then I had an awful allergy in one of my eyes, and my vision went blurry. I had constant headaches because I worked all the time in front of a computer, and with my blurry vision it was awful. Of course I went to the doctor and he recommended some medicine. But still the blurry thing was not going away. I remembered I also had the ‘power’ to heal myself, so I decided to write down every day that my vision was getting better. And in a few weeks, without even realising, my vision was back to normal, and that was without using the medicine. I actually stopped using it.
After this, I was due to apply for my indefinite leave to remain. Again a tough thing, but I said, if it worked for my other visa, it should work for this as well. And so of course I put all my documents together and I wrote down that I will be approved without any problem, any questions. And it was funny, because when I first got to the immigration office I saw this woman, smiling and generally seemed so nice, and my first thought was, ‘God, let this woman be the one dealing with my application.’ (please bear in mind there were another 7 immigration officers there) And guess what? The lady I wanted was the one dealing with my application, and she was lovely and approved my application on the spot. I was so grateful and happy…
But this is not where it ends. At work things were in high tension, and I was getting worried I may be let go. But again, I wrote down that I will not not be let go, that I will quit when the time is right. I had the meeting with my director, and again, things went fine. My job was secured for at least another year (which was exactly what I was aiming for). I have not been very happy in my job for the last year or so, but decided that whilst I am here, I will make the best of it and be grateful, because thanks to it, I was able to get all my visas sorted, and so things have improved since then.
And if that was not all, I had this huge financial report I needed to submit, and I was so worried because this was a project I had inherited from another employee, and there were so many problems that doing those final reports was a bit of a nightmare, and more when the budgets had been done incorrectly by the previous project manager. But I wrote down that my reports will be approved without any hassle or questions by the contracting authority (because in my experience they usually always ask for clarifications. This does not mean I did not work a lot to get these reports done in the best way I could, because I did. But I also wrote this down for a month, and I visualised getting the letter confirming the approval. Well, guess what? A week ago I got the letter. They approved the report without one single question, nothing… and they already paid us. Needless to say, my boss was very pleased. I am still stunned. One of my ex-colleagues who also has experience in this sort of thing tells me it it highly unlikely to get a report approved without any questions or clarifications. So, I guess it worked like a charm. 🙂
Now… I still have one wish left for this year which I am still finding a bit difficult to manifest, but I have to remember all the above to realise that I have believed and that I need to continue to do so. My wish is about love…. I still care for my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with almost 2 years ago.I know you cannot manipulate people and I cannot make him fall in love with me again, but I have found it hard to let him go. But I also realised that perhaps I am placing my happiness in the idea of ‘being with him’, when my happiness is something I find within me. So I have changed my ‘vision’…. and all I see now is me, happy and laughing and enjoying life. If I am happy with myself, then all things should come my way, right? I know they will.
Thanks to everyone who has shared their stories… in my moments of darkness and disbelief, I came here and I’ve found hope… and it also made me feel grateful, because it reminded me of those dreams that I have already manifested throughout my life, and that we all have the power to make of our life what we want.
Thanks Rhonda and her team, because the Secret has been leveled to be understood by anyone. And that’s how it should have been for ages. I keep recommending it to all my friends, family, and strangers I find who going through tough times. Some listen, some just think I am talking ‘bla bla bla’… but I am thankful because at least my best friends and my family are aware of this, and we can talk and share our experiences, which always reinforces my belief system.
I will stop now. This has been a long, long story, but for more than a year I kept coming here, and I thought, ‘One day I will share my story exactly as I lived it.’ I know not all of us can surf straight into the manifesting like others, but for those who are struggling like I once did, do not give up… you just need to find the ‘way’ that it works for you. I know I did…