I knew I had met the man of my dreams when I met him. It was so perfect, we had similar choices, desires, and even the perfect compatibility. Everything was perfect until it ended. I now know it was due to my own negative beliefs. All my previous relationships had ended leaving me completely destroyed and even the last guy I had broken up with left me completely unstable emotionally. But this one was very devastating because I knew this was perfect. We had been on and off for a year but I didn’t realize what I had till I lost it.

I was completely devastated. I took the entire blame on myself for whatever happened and spent my days in guilt and self-loathing. It was getting harder each day to accept that everything had ended for good. He had blocked me everywhere and made it absolutely clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. I was broken beyond repair. All I wanted was anything to bring him back. I started searching “How to Bring Your Ex Back” videos on YouTube but to no success. They only made me miserable till I came across the law of attraction videos. I read the book The Secret and that’s when I understood that the breakup was due to my negative thoughts about us.

I watched the so-called LOA gurus on YouTube. I tried all the affirmations, I did all the techniques they suggested. The 55-5, 3-6-9 method, you name it I have done it. I used to listen to binaural beats and try to visualize a happy life with him thrice a day nearly every day. Nothing worked. Now I know why. All that was coming from such a needy place that I couldn’t allow the happy version of my life that existed somewhere in my reality.

The law of attraction says that we get what we are, not what we want. So, while the deepest desire within me was that this love lasts forever, that clearly wasn’t evident in my life. I spent 10 months this way. Pining after him, crying, not eating properly, not bathing regularly, and desperately making attempts to get him back. Even though I wasn’t making attempts to contact him, he was on my mind every second. I would constantly check his social media and check up on the girls he was checking out only to cry even more. I had reached the lowest I could at that time. I would take small steps like blocking him and doing my own stuff or deleting him from my social media friend list. And sometimes he would text me but it was just always one message or two here and there.

Then a sports camp came along. I went there and the only thing on my mind was to enjoy it. I had loads of fun, and even checked out other cute guys who also seemed interested in me. I was definitely feeling happier even though my ex still was on my mind the whole time. After I returned, all I wanted was to live my life happily because the past 10 months had taken a lot out of me. I started watching lifestyle videos on YouTube, and work videos since I was also applying for jobs then. Even though I was still deeply sad, at least my focus was shifting to my own life, and not on his.

It was after this that he contacted me again. This time very sweetly. He was also not doing so well in life and wanted to work properly but was lacking focus and I shared my productivity hacks with him. He started saying things he had not said in a very long time. Like how he thinks I am a good person and he liked my dedication to work. But I still was very insecure talking to him as every time I used to talk to him, I used to remember our past and how he hurt me and the other girls that were in his life. Our chit chat went on for over 6 months with frequent fights, mostly because of my insecurities about other women. We went on and off till it was one big off again.

That’s when I let go of my biggest obstacle. The need for reciprocation of feelings. I didn’t want to lose the friendship that we had built. I started feeling a lot better thereafter. We talked every single day and things finally started looking well for me. I gradually started hearing beautiful things like how much he cared for me and valued my opinions. He started making sweet gestures and showing affection. In a few months, we had begun behaving as actual couples. But I didn’t have my commitment yet. Even though I didn’t ask him much about it, it was on my mind.

One day, as we were talking, the subject of relationships popped up, and I felt I was convincing him to be with me. That’s when I realized what was happening. The only thing left to manifest was the thing I had resistance for. The ability to let it go. I decided that I don’t want to influence his judgment, and he should commit when he wants to. It must have been that day when I finally let it go.

We ended up having really nice conversations after that, and he started getting too emotional, in a happy way. He said he didn’t know why he was feeling that way. About 10 days passed, and we were talking at night, and relationships again popped up. This time instead of getting awkward and making faces, he tried to clear his doubts. I even told him that I don’t want to influence his judgment and that I don’t want to convince him of anything. I really didn’t want to but he wanted to talk about it. Before the end of the night, I had the words on my mobile screen that I wanted to see for so long.

I am writing this story 2 weeks later, and I can say that desires really do come true. The guy who walked out on me now wants to be with me all the time. He writes me sweet messages and expresses his love for me in the sweetest ways possible. We are now together, happy, and totally in love with each other and our own lives. But none of this would have happened if I hadn’t put my life before his.

If you want to attract anything, you cannot feel the lack of it. Because that’s what you will end up attracting. I started living my life the way I wanted, the perfect routine including everything that made me happy.

I had completely misunderstood the process of letting go. I thought it would be a huge change that I would have to make. But it turned out to be something much smaller. I didn’t even realize it when it happened. And I think that’s how it should be. I now know The Secret! Be happy and you will attract ‘happy’.

Good things are here right now. We just have to open our eyes and see.