Give your Dreams Details!
I come from a poor country from Eastern Europe. Although I have never experienced poverty in the true meaning of this word, there was never enough in my family. Not enough money, not enough food, not enough love, you name it. My father left my mum but did not stop supporting her and two children in financial terms, not with big amounts, but still, as she said many times, better to have something than nothing. She hardly ever worked, and got paid (massive unemployment in our country), but yet she did not really try, because she was being supported anyway.
So basically, both my sister and I grew up thinking there is not enough money out there and we are not the lucky ones to have it. Mum always missed the bills, the fridge was always empty, no money for public transport, to pay for school items, not even mentioning birthday presents. From today’s perspective I think she was really sad, and later jealous that… I made it. I changed this self-destructing pattern.
I got involved with a very bad man who abused me emotionally, and literally made me a mental wreck. I got pregnant and was manipulated into marrying him – I was convinced nothing better would happen to me. I was 23, last university year, no job whatsoever, no house, and pregnant. Shame on a family’s honour, as I was described by my mum. You need to understand that unmarried women in a small town in an Eastern European country without any money or chances for a decent job = disaster. My mum refused to help me in any way. I lost so much weight, I could not breast feed, I was living in a tiny bedroom (3x3m) with my husband and our baby. In the flat there was also my husband’s mother, grandmother, and sister. Again, because I was not working I let them make me a servant: cooking, cleaning, washing – all small jobs in the house.
After a few months I got an offer of teaching English for five hours per week in a local primary school. This was my first proper job ever, at 24. It turned out to be hell: a very badly managed school, no support whatsoever for a new teacher, children from foster families, children homes, young criminals, drug takers (yes, at 11-12 there were several kids who took drugs!). Heartbreaking, but I needed help myself – I was unable to deal with it. Until today I remember a situation in which a child age 11 lit his school book with a cigarette lighter and put it out the window, calling me all names you can imagine. I got told off by the head master that I let him do that and went for help!
I don’t remember exactly when was that tipping point, when I couldn’t bear it anymore. I quit that job and stopped thinking about myself at all. I just let it go, couldn’t be sad and depressed anymore. I didn’t care – I could not kill myself because of my son, who is my light of the day until today.
At some point a colleague from that primary school hired me at his private language school for a one year contract. Unbelievable! This was a dream job, a great new building, excellent resources, nice students – mostly friendly adults – fantastic. I loved every minute of it. I did not want to come back, even to my child.
For a few months I was living a double life. One day in bed when I woke up I asked myself: Do I want this life, this man, these horrible people around me? Of course the answer was no. The same day I found out that my abusive husband was cheating on me with very young girls (16+). Shocker, cold shower, turned me numb. I watched The Secret that day for the first time.
At my language school I met a very special man, my student, older than me, a totally different person than me. Confident, charming, hard working, energetic, fit, very handsome. I had no idea why he chose me. With his help I was out (with my baby son who was 1.5 years old at that time), out of that horrible, abusive, manipulative family within a few months. I was called all names when I took my child and left.
For a year we lived together at his large family home in a nearby town. His parents took a strange girl with a small boy without asking any questions. I had to learn from scratch that people can be nice, helpful, and not want anything in return. We were preparing to leave our country and move to the UK to search a better future.
The first few months were hard in a new place. Because I took The Secret with me and introduced my partner to it, wonderful little things happen. We told each other: there is no other way, it has to work out. And oh yes, it did. I got a job in a very good high school (as a teaching assistant) within two weeks, same with my partner; he got employed in a large garage.
In 2007 we got a mortgage and bought our first house. What an amazing and empowering feeling! That day is our family celebration until today. Our family got bigger with a magnificent Maine Coon cat.
Today, after seven years together and a lot of daily work with The Secret, we both study, work, and experience all things we always dreamed of: we went to Disneyland, Legoland, and many other wonderful places.
I have my own translation business that is blooming. I just got offered a fantastic job at a university, and all signs show we will be moving out to our dream house in rural UK – pretty soon!
What can I say – never ever stop believing. Give your dreams a lot of details, cherish them, live them as if they happened, do small things you love and can afford, laugh, love, and yes, magic happens.
PS. You may wonder what happened to my mum and sister. Ah well, they still live in the same place. Same poverty minds. I do keep contact with them, but not a lot. You can’t help someone if they don’t want it, can you?