From Hopeless To Hopeful.
Goodness. Where do I even begin? In December of 2016, I met the man of my dreams. Funny enough, he was far from what I expected. I had just turned 21 and he was significantly older than I was. He also had a beautiful son who stole my heart shortly after he did. He was a family friend for as long as I could even remember. A part of the same church. It began the exact day of my 21st birthday where he “accidentally” messaged me happy birthday instead of writing it on my wall. A simple “happy birthday” is what stole my heart. Little did I know, it was the best thing to have ever “accidentally” happened to me.
We dated for about 11 months and it was anything but easy. My dad was incredibly supportive but my mom was not having it. I was kicked out of my home for choosing happiness. Within those 11 months, I bounced from house to house, struggling to find a home. It was hard. Not to mention, we were still trying to make it work. We already had a rough start, I didn’t want it to get any worse. My mom made life very difficult for us. Constantly called him and harassed him to stay away and calling members from our Hindu community.
He is a very humble and genuine individual who cares a lot about what others think about him. I struggled with knowing that I was the reason people were thinking so ill of him. My ill thoughts and our rough start brought upon endless and detrimental arguing that eventually became toxic. We ended up breaking up in November of 2017. I was shattered, devastated, and everything in between. After everything we had been through, my love just wasn’t enough to save us.
Thus, I began my journey alone. I cried. Night and day. I prayed. Night and day. I knew he was the one. I felt it in every part of my soul. There was nobody else who could brighten my smile or enlarged my heart as he did. My mother was happy, but I was broken. You see, our problem wasn’t each other. It was what we allowed to come in between us. We focused so much of our time and energy on other people without focusing on what was right in front of us the whole time, each other. It just wasn’t our time. For an entire year, I struggled to regain myself. To find myself again and boy was I lost. My best friend tried her hardest to help me but I just couldn’t accept the fact that this was it for us. Even in that year, I had faith. Endless faith. I never once gave up on us.
My best friend probably thought I was delusional. She tried to help me understand that I needed to stop focusing so much of my energy on ‘us’ and just simply focus on ‘me’. I tried multiple times to get in touch with him and he was just so cold and disinterested. It broke me even more. So I listened to my best friend, eventually. Ha! She just cared so much for my well- being and wanted the absolute best for me.
So, I decided to take her advice. I began focusing on me. The number of wonderful things that happened afterward, was just incredible! I got a new job, got into graduate school, and even moved out and got my own place. I was in such a beautiful place, physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and everything in between. It was like God himself was holding my hand every step of the way. I became happier, financially stable, and so much more.
Now I thought, what’s missing? He was. In that year, I tried talking to someone else and it fell through. My heart wasn’t in it. In fact, my heart wasn’t even there. Even through all the incredible things that happened that year, my faith in us never left. It was always there.
Then it happened. In February of 2019, the love of my life found his way back to me. Ask me how? I don’t even know! The impossible became possible. And now, we are happier than we’ve ever been. Boy oh boy, life has just been amazing for us!
Long story short, my true love found his way back. All that needed to happen, was to let go and let the Universe and time take the lead. We needed that time apart. It just wasn’t our time. We needed to grow individually and now, we are flourishing collectively.
So thank you, God and the Universe for showing me just how powerful you both are. Life is good, God is great, and the Universe will always answer.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!