Found an agent! Got a new house!
I first came across The Secret in the spring of 2007. I had just moved and taken on a new mortgage and I was full of apprehension. I was certain I would not be able to pay the mortgage and that the house would go down in value. Nonetheless, I tried to take The Secret to heart. I watched the film several times, read The Secret to Riches, and wrote down affirmations which I read daily. I tried again and again, but fear and anger had rooted very deeply in my heart.
In 2009 my husband and I came close to losing everything. There is a funny thing about being at rock bottom there really is no place to go but up. My mortgage was behind, my bills overwhelming, and my relationships were in tatters.
I had made some progress – I had finished and sent out a novel and got some feedback, but no acceptance. On the other hand, I finished and submitted a few short stories and they were accepted and published, although for very, very little money less than it cost to have an internet connection for a month. I knew I had to dig deeper and reminded myself I already knew the way out – change the way I think and, more importantly, change the way I feel.
2010 was to be my year. We sold the house that was underwater, losing only a fraction of what I feared, and found a new house for far less cost in a better location (though less space), I learned new skills in marketing and promotion, a lawsuit hanging over my head was resolved, and I revised the book that had not sold and began submitting again. I bought myself a heart ring so that every time I look at it, I remember to be grateful and to feel love and to Know, like I know, like I know what I want (a good agent) was on the way.
I started to behave as if, writing every day as if I were already an agented author with deadlines. I printed up the sign of my sale and inserted the name of the agent I wanted. At one point eight agents had my novel. But one by one the rejections started coming back. Instead of getting discouraged as I had in the first round, I sent thank you cards to everyone that spent time. I did not lose faith. Certainly, I was disappointed, but I told myself it was just a matter of time, that although some of the agents I really liked had passed, that the universe was bringing me my perfect agent. I was sure of this because I was getting other things that had long been on my dream board: an e-reader and a vacuum cleaner.
To keep my spirits up, I went to the story sharing site and I was reading a story and the words heart free of anger popped out at me. I sat down immediately and wrote out any resentment I had yet to rid myself of. When I was finished I felt a beautiful sense of peace. Within two weeks, an agent called with the offer to represent me. I talked with her for an hour and loved her. I am over the moon. I know this is just the beginning, but life is so wonderful since I have stopped carrying the bag of resentment and fear and doubt and I am sure I will find a publisher soon.