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Finding Love.
Submitted by: Ekta
IndiaI am a single woman who will be turning 40 soon. I live by myself in Mumbai, India and am blessed with a good job, an amazing mom and brother. I have the best girl friends who are my constant source of strength.
I will be turning 40 soon and am still single. I have been in a couple of relationships so far but none of them worked out. Either I attracted toxic situations or never had the conviction in my heart to go with the men I was in a relationship with, despite wanting to be in a loving, committed relationship more than anything else. I froze my eggs a few years back thinking I would meet the man I would like to settle down with and raise a family with. That too never happened and I gave up the hope of ever having a family of my own.
I met someone 4 months back and fell in love with him. We were both fundamentally very different and I did not agree with some of the life choices he was making. I called it off with him hoping in my heart that he would fight for ‘us’ and wouldn’t give up on me so soon. But he gave up on the relationship saying he would never change. I was not trying to change him as a person. I was only trying to change a habit that I knew would drag us down in the future. It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up. I have cried each night since. I miss him tremendously and I do not know if I did the right thing by breaking up with him. In a desperate situation I reached out to him a few times to get back but he stood firm and declined to rekindle what we shared, all the while saying he loved me still but could not change his lifestyle.
In the last few days, I re-read The Secret and am sending him loads of love and happiness. I have set him free. I have let it go. I have surrendered to the Universe my heart’s desire to be in a loving, committed relationship. I am determined to live fearlessly. Fear of being alone for the rest of my life was driving me to depression. I stopped sleeping well, I lost focus at work, and was I crying all the time. But not anymore! I am trusting the Universe to do what is best for me. I am not praying to get him back. I am practicing The Secret for the best possible outcome for both him and me.
In the meantime, I have made up my mind to be positive and grateful about everything else that is working in my life. If the Universe decides that we are not meant for each other, I will forever be grateful for the time I shared with him. I am sure I will be happy no matter what.