Coming back to study
I’m doing my Residence in Internal Medicine. This specialty takes 3 years in Chile, and this should be my last year.
I always get very nervous with the oral exams, and I failed on my 2nd year exam. I thought, “It’s ok, I’ll take it again and I will study more the next time.
But the second time, I was working over 12 hrs a day, I was tired all the time, and even when I was trying to understand The Secret, I knew that I was going to fail again. And that’s exactly what happened.
I was devastated. I had already finished all the subjects for my residence, but I failed a mid-term exam, and I was expelled from the University.
I felt like the worst person in the world. I was really ashamed. What I was going to do now? Three long years wasted.
I sent a letter to the Dean, and in the meantime I traveled to my parent’s home. The Deans answer took a month, and he approved my request to a new exam. While I was waiting for a new chance, two colleagues failed their exams too, and another two colleagues failed a subject.
I was afraid that my teachers would set the date of the new exam without enough time to study, and I knew that if I failed again, I would lose everything that I had done in three years.
I started to think, what is wrong? Where is the problem?
I had problems to focus on studying.
One day a week before the exam, in a visit to my parents, I saw the video of “The Secret”. I’ve seen it a lot of times, and this worked for me for small things before, but this was a big problem and I was so scared, that I actually was attracting the opposite.
After watching the video, my father came to show me a video of a piano concert that my sister gave few days earlier. She really amazed me, she was playing really great. And suddenly, he told me that her teacher, before the concert, said to her, “Remember, on stage, you are the best pianist in the world now, you are the BEST. And this thing gave me an idea: I needed to think that I am the best, no matter if it’s true or not.
The next day I came back to my apartment, and I had another idea: to take the TV out of my bedroom, and put the stereo in its place, I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. The TV was distracting me when I needed to study.
And the following days, I started every morning thanking for my family, for my friends, for my health, etc, and then I studied all day long in the faculty’s library, listening to music. Music always calms me, and also avoids me to be interrupted.
But the most amazing thing is that I was happy all the time with no reason.
I started to enjoy the idea of getting back to the residence, to see my friends and colleagues again, after 2 months, I was delighted with the idea, and I was no longer scared, even knowing that this was my last chance.
Today was the exam, and I passed with a good grade.
I finally know how this works, thanks a lot!