Believe In You!
In 2010 I was part of the notorious drug trade, living the life I wanted, money, cars, a house, happy children, and a happy life.
I found The Secret book in 2011. I read through it but I did not really read it with an open mind. I started focusing on what I didn’t want because I no longer wanted this lifestyle. I want to do something new. I wanted something different. I knew that what I was doing was wrong so I was not happy. One day in 2012, I prayed, crying that I don’t want this lifestyle, take it from me, take all of it.
A month later I was arrested and facing up to 20 years in prison. I was devastated! I was going crazy because I left my children and I felt as if I was never going to come back to them again. You see, I am all my children have. Their father died in 2006 leaving me to be the sole protector of all five children. I always believed that no matter what it was that I was doing, as long as I was providing for them then that was all that mattered. I was wrong.
After being incarcerated, in the first week, I was put into the ‘hole’. I was sitting there feeling absolutely all alone and very confused because I had nothing to do with why I was in the hole! During the second week of being incarcerated, I ended up in the hole again. The next day was Thanksgiving day and my mind would not rest. My heart was aching as I couldn’t call my children. I couldn’t see my children. I couldn’t eat with my children and as a matter of fact, I didn’t even have a real Thanksgiving meal. There I was so focused on all the wrong that was happening to me, saying, “Why me, why me, I don’t understand.”
Then out of nowhere, something inside said, be still, sit down, be quiet and listen! I don’t know why but I cried and I prayed because, at that moment, I felt like everything was going to be OK! I recalled The Secret. I told myself and believed deep down in my heart that I was not going to live the rest of my children’s lives in prison. It was my duty to raise these children to the best of my ability because I was the only person left to help them.
My sister was also incarcerated with me with the same charges, and at the same prison. I told my sister we need not panic. I believe deep down in my heart that the most time we will do is two years. We’re going to get out right before my birthday. I wrote it down.
We went to court and had the hearings. We had a trial and we were sentenced to 21 months in prison and 5 years probation. During my incarceration time, I focused on a lot of self-awareness and self-help. I joined a choir group we started called ‘One Voice”. I was exercising, working at a mechanic shop, working as a volunteer construction worker, and volunteering at arts and crafts. I wanted to keep my mind occupied and focused on good things. I wrote to my children every day, just wanting to feel happiness. My incarceration date was 09/28/2012 and my release date was 04/04/2014. My birthday was on 04/05.
I served a year and a half on supervised probation and was released on good behavior. Seeing my kids for the first time in two years was the most amazing, happy feeling I had ever felt in my life!
No matter what the situation you are in or how hard it is, just hold to your beliefs and let go of the negative.
I am soon to become a licensed cosmetologist instructor and am focusing on becoming an advocate for victims of rape and abused children.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!