Believe In You!
In 2010 I was part of the notorious drug trade, living the life I wanted, money cars, house, happy children, happy life.
I found The Secret book in 2011. I read through it but I did not really read it with an open mind. I started focusing on what I didn’t want because I no longer wanted this lifestyle. I want to do something new. I wanted something different. I knew that what I was doing was wrong so I was not happy. One day in 2012, I prayed, crying that I don’t want this lifestyle, take it from me, take all of it.
A month later I was arrested, facing up to 20 years in prison. I was devastated! I was going crazy because I left my children and I felt as if I was never going to come back to them again. You see, I am all my children have. Their father died in 2006 leaving me to be the sole protector of all five children. I always believed that no matter what it was that I was doing, as long as I was providing for them then that was all that mattered. I was wrong.
Once being incarcerated, in the first week, I was put into the ‘hole’. I was sitting there feeling absolutely all alone and very confused because I had nothing to do with why I was in the hole! The second week into being incarcerated I end up in the hole again. The next day was Thanksgiving day and my mind would not rest, my heart was aching as I couldn’t call my children. I couldn’t see my children. I couldn’t eat with my children and as a matter fact, I didn’t even have a real Thanksgiving meal. There I was so focused on all the wrong that was happening to me, saying why me, why me, I don’t understand.
Then out of nowhere, something inside said, be still, sit down, be quiet and listen! I don’t know why but I cried and I prayed because, at that moment, I felt like everything was going to be OK! I recalled The Secret. I told myself and believed deep down in my heart that I was not going to live the rest of my children’s life in prison because it was my duty to raise these children to my best ability because I was the only person left to help them.
My sister was also incarcerated with me with the same charges and at the same prison. So I told my sister we need to not panic. I believe deep down in my heart that the most time we will do is two years. We’re going to get out right before my birthday. I wrote it down.
We went to court and had the hearings. We had a trial and we were sentenced to 21 months in prison and 5 years probation. During my incarceration time, I focused on a lot of self-awareness and self-help. I joined a choir group we started called ‘One Voice”. I was exercising, working at a mechanic shop, working as a volunteer construction worker, and volunteering at arts and crafts. I wanted to keep my mind occupied and focused on good things. I wrote to my children every day, just wanting to feel happiness. My incarceration date was 09/28/2012 and my release date was 04/04/2014. My birthday was on 04/05.
I served a year and a half on supervised probation and was released on good behavior. Seeing my kids for the first time in two years was the most amazing, happy feeling I had ever felt in my life!
No matter what the situation is that you are in, how hard or how easy, just hold to your beliefs and let go of the negative.
I am soon to become a licensed cosmetologist instructor and focusing on becoming an advocate for victims of rape and abused children.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!