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Bar Work at Age 16

Submitted by: Kassie Marie N.

California

I'm 17 now. I used to work in a bar. I live with an awesome dad. I eat good food.

I was only 16 years old. I lived a dysfunctional home life with my mom and her boyfriend who was the owner of a bar in San Francisco. I worked at his bar ever since I turned 15. Everything they said to me was negative. Everything I did for them was unmoral and against the law. They made me fear telling others what I was going through and where I was working. Drama was in my family life, school life, and health.

Working at the bar was an overall bad environment for a girl of my age to be in. But my mom dressed me up so I’d look 21. I’ve seen things, heard things, and dealt with things no 15 or 16 year old should have dealt with. It was easy to avoid being caught… for one, I’m Asian and Asians tend to look younger than they really are. 2nd, bars are noisy, crowded, filled with music, and have dim lighting. No one could really hear how childish my voice was over the music, and rarely was my voice heard, since I was afraid to speak. I was hardly paid.

One day, this man my mom was fooling around with from the bar bought us ‘The Secret’ on DVD. When I watched it, I tested it out by looking into a magazine. I saw in the magazine an animé figurine that cost $200. A month later, I won it in a raffle. Since then, I was aware that whatever you focus on CAN happen. Thus, I tried focusing on making life better for my mom.

But as I tried to make life better for my mom, life for me was getting worse.

During the month of June, my dad took me to a doctor to get surgery done on my mouth. The very next day, my mom wanted me to work at the bar for literally no pay. My dad, not knowing about me working at the bar, showed continuous concern by telling me he wanted me to rest. While working at the bar, my mom continuously yelled at me for being weak and that I was never good help in the first place. Ideas began forming in my head about the kind of life I wanted to live.

At the end of June, I confronted my mom and told her I want to live with my dad. She kicked me out of the house. But then a week later, she claimed I was a runaway.

For the rest of that summer up until August 10th, 2008, it was like a battle for me to get the life I wanted: a stable home, a loving family, to be overall happy with everything. I kept in mind all summer that ideal lifestyle. I was no longer focusing on anyone else’s happiness but my own. Everything was hard in the middle, and it was unclear how things would turn out, but overall I willed for that great life I imagined in my head to become reality. Eventually, words and actions got around enough for my mom and her boyfriend to leave me alone permanently.

Ever since, I kept in mind a positive mind frame. I have my ideal job. I’m going to college. I have fun, awesome friends. I’m surrounded by loving relatives. My health is amazing. I’m not afraid of anyone or anything. This has been the best year of my life.

Thank you for making me aware that I get to choose the kind of lifestyle that I want to live.

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What Do You Want?

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To Be Happy1
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