A Brick of Cheddar and Pink Carnations
It is a bit long, but give it a shot. Read this if you need assurance or a bit of a lift.
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and it was very one sided, non-committal and it always seemed like I was the one always wanting to make it work. I was always sacrificing myself.
I read The Secret a few months ago (I don’t even remember how it came into my life) and was stunned with the information that flooded my head. I didn’t know how to take one step at a time and make it work. But I did my best. I started with loving me, with falling in love with me.
I went out and got the DVD. Since then I have played it when I’ve gotten discouraged, or had it on in the background while I was cleaning and so on. I knew I would always end up hearing what I needed.
So to try and make a long story short, I have discovered many things, new things, every time I watch the DVD. The segment with Marie Diamond really hit a note with me. I wanted things out of my relationship, so I took out an old scrapbook and drew us in many scenarios as silly little stick-people. I wanted passion, I drew cute little undergarments on the floor. I wanted to spend more time out in social scenes, I drew us at a bar with drinks and other funny stick-people. I wanted romance, I drew a card and a vase with flowers…
I went to bed every night listing off things I love about him. Writing them down. If he would irritate me or upset me, I concentrated on the way he loves me, how he holds me and will always protect me and make me laugh.
My boyfriend and I started hanging out with other people together, being more social, having fun. He started to be more comfortable than I had ever seen him. He was opening up to the romantic in him, there was more passion, more smiles, it was great.
This is the moment that it all hit me, and I almost cried. One night last week, I had asked him to pick up cheese for supper on his way to my house. When he walked in, he had a brick of cheese in one hand, and a small wrapped bouquet of carnations in the other. The thought that he was thinking of me in line at the supermarket was the sweetest thing ever. I havent seen flowers from him since we were first together. And then I remembered a specific pencil drawing, and I was at a loss. A simple 5.99 bundle of pink carnations in my hand was priceless to me. I have never held anything so valuable, The Secret materialized, all wrapped up in purple paper. It was awesome!!
There’s a second part to this story though. A few days later, inexplicably, he had told me he needed “space” and he was feeling unfulfilled from us, he was very discouraged. I told him to call me if he needed anything, and let me know when he figured things out. It’s been a week since I’ve talked to my boyfriend. I do think it is important to give him his space, but how do I apply The Secret to this situation? I knew I should be positive, but something was in the back of my mind, keeping me from believing that we are meant to be together, the very thing I know that I want with all my heart.
The hardest part was that I learned that I had to stop “missing” him, and to stop thinking of the memories as memories. “Missing” him was only generating thoughts and frequencies of lack and sadness. And sticking to this mindset would only promote more. But still, I was a bit puzzled and it was like something was holding me back. I needed something.
I logged onto The Secret, and started to read through the Relationship stories. Almost immediately, I hit one that had really inspired me and almost seemed to jump out at me and say “Everything is great!! You have nothing to worry about!! Don’t lose faith!!!” This story I was reading had a very similar situation, only with the ending that I want, the ending I feared was impossible. I started to cry, and then I cut and copied the story and hit “print”. Im going to keep it by my bed so I can read it and know that I got what I want. It is manifesting, it is out there, it is mine.
I have started to see the situation in a different light. Maybe this is just necessary in the end result I desire, maybe there is something he needs to work out on his own and I need to be patient. I was always sure it would turn out, but there was still something off. I just needed that extra push and encouragement, and it came just when I needed it here online.
And as I think of my sketches, I realize that there are many other goofy little stick-men scenarios that I have drawn up. Really fun ones
Hey, dont laugh! I got my carnations!!
And a brick of cheese. Both for which I asked for.
Not a chance.